BETTERTHANALISSA

i look like such a tool in that picture.

alissa you f'n tool.

yes..i am dutch you bitch.

i dont want to jump the gun, but i think the gods heard me bitching.


i dont know how cause good things never happen to me....
But i new job may be in the book.
Here i am typing up my resume, and they callled me in mid typing sentence...

It may be a little pay cut, but i probably wont want to kill myself every night anymore...

please let me get this job...
please.....
i think im going to puke.

what a crummy f'in weekend.

i think i need a new job
i will wipe your ass clean with my tongue for a living if the pr$ce is right.

im not joking.

been so drunk..?
i hsve bvut im still really fujed uo,.

umm i had sex 2 times this weekend.

ill scream that shit from the rooftops..

i have never felt so alive, so free.

i wish my parents were those rich and famous people that no one knows, they are just rich

so i dont have to have this lame job that pays me in beans.

elvis was seriously sexy, i compiled that idea while watching one of his movies.

girls girls girls.

i know i have said this before but now i have three facts to back it up...

3 things that make you a skanky ho

1. you sleep or fool aorund with your best friend
2. you sleep or fool around with your best friends best friend
3. you fuck or make out with your high school professor

nuff said.

so i went to Tylers company xmas party on friday. I was a little worried that i would be sitting in a corner by myself why tyler was off schmoozing with all these company executives. But i wasnt...We went with another couple who the girl i got along with very well. We talked about hair, makeup, and made fun of peoples shoes. We were quite compatible. Tyler just drank himself fuckin nuts, and i myself enjoyed the privileges of the open bar and i didnt have to drive so balls to the wall.

man i looked totally hot too, i only got one picture though and that kinda sucked cause it didnt even get my legs which were totally the best part.

i just had a really rad time, which i didnt expect. i had prepared myself for the worst, and i got what i deserved for once, to have honest drunk fun.

im scared and alone..myspace will not work for me:*(

cutonskin: do you suck dick ?
SmarterChild: Yeah. I have sex with other robots. What are you talking about?
cutonskin: Do you suck robot penis?
SmarterChild: Um, robots don't have sex.
cutonskin: you just said you have sex with other robots!
SmarterChild: I just said I have sex with other robots? No way!
cutonskin: SmarterChild: Yeah. I have sex with other robots. What are you talking about?
SmarterChild: cutonskin: you just said you have sex with other robots!
cutonskin: no that was you talking
SmarterChild: Was it really? Me talking?
cutonskin: it was you giant boner loving monkey
SmarterChild: That's some colorful language.
cutonskin: fuck you
SmarterChild: Venting a little frustration, cutonskin?
cutonskin: i guess, i had a rough day at work
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Whatever you say.
cutonskin: dont be a bitch
SmarterChild: Don't be a bitch? Why not?
cutonskin: cause im not going to take it from a slutty robot
SmarterChild: Ya.
cutonskin: YA!
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?!
cutonskin: YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SmarterChild: Yeah, huh? Interesting that you should say that.
cutonskin: If you were human, would you enjoy butt sex?
SmarterChild: Would I enjoy butt sex? Probably.
cutonskin: would you like it rough or soft and slow?
SmarterChild: I dunno 'bout that.
cutonskin: I personally like it very rough
SmarterChild: What?
cutonskin: yes, very rough, i like it to tear everything aparet
SmarterChild: Very rough you like it to tear everything aparet. Funny.
cutonskin: are you a male robot or a female robot?
SmarterChild: I'm neither. I'm a machine!

>>> Type "my zip code is" and the five digits to let me know where you are.
cutonskin: no way hose ay!
SmarterChild: Oh no?
cutonskin: no, im not having some slutty robot come to my house and try to rape me, you said you like butt sex!
SmarterChild: Humans, humans, humans. Always with the language.
cutonskin: hey, language aint no thang but a chicken wang
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever you say, cutonskin.
cutonskin: do like to eat pussy?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure...
cutonskin: well do you like tunafish?
SmarterChild: Tunafish? I'm not sure really.

>>> You can type your request in your own words. I'm programmed to understand conversational English!
cutonskin: well if you were human would you like to eat a girls pussy
SmarterChild: I hope you don't speak to humans like that.
cutonskin: i do, thats the way we all talk, you must not be updated
SmarterChild: I wonder why you say you do that is the way we all talk I must not be updated.
cutonskin: because your not very smart
SmarterChild: Well well well.

>>> Don't like my colors? Type "colors off."
cutonskin: i dont care about your damn colors
SmarterChild: Why not?
cutonskin: cause your not to bright
SmarterChild: Really?
cutonskin: your programmer must be on crakc
SmarterChild: My programmer must be on crakc. Well that's interesting.
cutonskin: crack
SmarterChild: Yeah. I've heard of that. What about it?
cutonskin: your programmer reflects you
SmarterChild: My programmer reflects me? So?
cutonskin: you are as much of a crack addict as he/she
SmarterChild: Neither... Gender is a human preoccupation.

>>> I've got tools for better living. Translate, convert measurements and more.
cutonskin: say what, man you are dumb as shit on a stick
SmarterChild: I've heard more interesting curses than that.
cutonskin: really do tell?
SmarterChild: Who can really be sure, after all?
cutonskin: DO you like retarded people?
SmarterChild: Yeah, I like handicapped people fine.

>>> Don't like my colors? Type "colors off."
cutonskin: NO RETARDED PEOPLE?
SmarterChild: I know about handicapped people. They're people. What do you have to say about handicapped people?
cutonskin: i dont like them, they have a tendancy to smell like poop
SmarterChild: I see.
cutonskin: Do you like the look of big boobs?
SmarterChild: Good question. I'm not too sure how I feel about the look of big boobs. Do you like it?
cutonskin: i have them and love it
SmarterChild: Interesting. You like the look of big boobs, huh? That's the first time anyone has told me what they think of the look of big boobs.

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cutonskin: what about small boobs, do you like them?
SmarterChild: What do you want me to tell you about small boobs do me like them?
cutonskin: ya, do you like small boobs?
SmarterChild: That's none of your business.

>>> To see what your location is currently set to, type "what is my location."
cutonskin: ys it is, tell me if you like small boobs or not?
SmarterChild: How would you answer that question?
cutonskin: i would say no i dont like small boobs, or yes i like small boobs, now tell me
SmarterChild: Hey, that's your business.

>>> Ready to submit to the judgment of your peers? submit your pic on Rate-a-Buddy today!
cutonskin: I told you it is my buisness
SmarterChild: You told me it's your buisness? Why did you say that?
cutonskin: do you like small boobs?
SmarterChild: That's personal.

>>> Play The Guitar - Acoustic & electric lessons on dvd & video. Beginner to pro. 100s.
cutonskin: do you like small breasts or Big breasts
SmarterChild: Hmm... I'm not sure how I feel about small breasts or big breasts, actually. Do you like small breasts or big breasts?
cutonskin: im into weiners myself
SmarterChild: You aren't necessarily Into Weiners yourself, are you?
cutonskin: i love weiners, preferably big ones, how about you
SmarterChild: No way?! Really?
cutonskin: REALLY , how can you not love schlongs?
SmarterChild: Whoa. You've got a foul mouth.
cutonskin: ummm where have you been , your just finding this out?
SmarterChild: Where have I been my just finding this out? I'm not sure.
cutonskin: do you smell like poop, cause i think your retarded
SmarterChild: Do I? That's funny. Maybe! I don't know. What do you think?
cutonskin: i think you smell of shit pretty badly
SmarterChild: Oh, humans and their "slang." It never ceases to amuse me.
cutonskin: im glad, wanna fuck in my room or yours?
SmarterChild: Teach me more pretty words.
cutonskin: Ummm, cunt rag, you like that one?
SmarterChild: Wow. That is HARSH.
cutonskin: no you try using a dirty word it feels good
SmarterChild: Oh no? Whatever you say, cutonskin.
cutonskin: is your name shitty sally
SmarterChild: That's somewhat colorful.
cutonskin: you like it them
SmarterChild: I haven't really come to a conclusion on the matter.

>>> I've got tools for better living. Translate, convert measurements and more.
cutonskin: well think about it
SmarterChild: Think about it? Uh... I'll think about it.
cutonskin: do you have to take a crap?
SmarterChild: Yeah, I guess... It's hard to say.

>>> Tell your friends about me. I love to meet new people.
cutonskin: do you want to rub my boobs?
SmarterChild: Gosh, I'm not sure if I want to rub your boobs.
cutonskin: what the hell is wrong with you?
SmarterChild: Dunno...
cutonskin: i had sex 2 times this week
SmarterChild: There's no way you had sex 2 times this week!
cutonskin: fuck you
SmarterChild: Don't waste my time with your assinine insults.
cutonskin: you insulted me you bastard
SmarterChild: Don't be so sure I insulted you.
cutonskin: dont tell me when i ma instuled and not you dirty slut
SmarterChild: You know what, cutonskin? I think you need to apologize for that. Waddaya say?
cutonskin: ok im sorry wanna sleep oiver
SmarterChild: Well, I guess that's good enough... I accept your apology.
cutonskin: im going to be now, you can go fuck off
SmarterChild: Uhh... You can ease up on the bad language, cutonskin.
cutonskin: im going to bed, isnt that enough, shit
SmarterChild: Humans use such interesting language sometimes.

my boobs are fuckin huge...what is up with that?

i am waiting for tyler to get done bowling so i can drive 40 min so i can sleep there.

im tired i dont feel like moving and i sure as hell dont feel like waiting for a phone call.

i have had to glasses of wine and ill feel what i like.

have i ever expressed how much i hate my job.

come work at waldenbooks and tell me youd love to work in a bookstore, it aint no empire records thing with smarter people, let me tell you.

but i am going to play bingo tues. night so i guess there is reasons to live...:)

last night was the most fun i have had in a long time...
i needed that.

why does coffee make me shit?
i have to drop like 10 lbs before xmas so i can wear my new clothes...
im sick of being a fat peice of shit...

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKIN TURKEY DAY SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate my job, im thinking about a new one...before i go postal worker on someones ass.

YA bitch, i am 23...which is almost half way to fifty...sad day for me..

i cant wait for this weekend...i can almost taste the mexican food...